As brief as your confirmation email, registration thank you page, or your error messages may be, they should be executed as well as the rest of your campaign. Not only are they often the last communication your customers will see, they can be an opportunity to keep your customers engaged or to provide a specific direction or call to action.

I was prompted to write this post after recently receiving three messages that were either so completely out of context or so underwhelming, they had me scratching my head.

This first one was from Amazon’s reseller marketplace:

“Thank you for purchasing XYZ’s products on Amazon.ca.
We strive to offer you the best value and service possible.
If there is any problem with the product you have purchased, please email or call us so we can resolve the problem as soon as possible.”

This email sounds like it was pasted together with bland, cliché copy. They didn’t even make any effort to personalize it. The clincher? I purchased the “product” (an iPod silicone cover) about two months ago for Christmas. Why would I even bother giving feedback so long after the fact to a company that seems to care so little about what I think?

This one was from Old Navy’s One in a Million campaign. (Great campaign, don’t get me wrong.)

“Thank you for registering for the Old Navy One in a Million Campaign. Merci pour votre enregistrement à la campagne Un sur un Million de Old Navy.”

I appreciate the low-key, simple confirmation, but here was a perfect opportunity to build follow-up into the campaign, and keep the conversation going. How about some links inviting me back to the site to see how the campaign and voting are going? Or an opportunity to tweet about the campaign? Perhaps there wasn’t budget or the means to create an HTML email?

This last one was from Bell Mobility, which is notorious for sending me random texts with offers that mean little to me (at least they don’t charge me for the texts).

“Free Bell msg: As a thank you we are giving you 100 free local minutes. Redeemable at authorized Bell stores from Feb 1st to Feb 14th”

I understand they only have 140 characters to work with, but a) I’m not sure what they’re thanking me for (I can guess) and b) I don’t even need 100 local minutes because I have a good plan and rarely go over my limit. When it comes to text offers, first and foremost you have to deliver value.

Error messages are another classic example of a communication touch point that is too often overlooked, or left to web developers (sorry, guys, I’m not trying to put your writing skills down).

I’ve been on far too many sites where the content is witty and fun and engaging, only to be jarred by a cold, hard error message that left me feeling a little put out.

Bliss Spa is a New York-based company that set a new standard in marketing and copywrting in the spa industry. Not too long ago, I emailed blissworld.com as I was having trouble with a registration form where I ran into some of the site’s error messages. I love their coywriting, so I couldn’t help mention that their error messages are so out of character with the rest of their copy.

Some of the funniest error messages I’ve read are Twitter’s. Go ahead and make an error, or forget your password. The messages will make you smile.

The show’s Spanish teacher is played by Korean-American Ken Jeong, a former doctor whose film credits include Knocked Up and The Hangover.

Curious about Jeong’s background, I headed to YouTube to watch some of Jeong’s comedy skits. Disclaimer: it’s R-rated material peppered with plenty of colourful language and sexual references. One of his favourite shticks, however, is poking fun at Koreans as well as Vietnamese (he‘s married to a Vietnamese wife).

There seems to be an unwritten law in comedy that if you are of a race or culture other than Caucasian, you have licence to make fun of people of said race or culture. So whether it’s Ken Jeong making fun of Koreans, Eddie Murphy riffing on African-Americans, or Russell Peters mocking “brown people”, they get away with the jokes and barbs.

Can you imagine Jay Leno doing the same? Absolutely not. We would be offended. We would protest. We’d write letters. Because of who these comedians are (not Caucasian), we as an audience give them permission to make the jokes and barbs–and we laugh.

The same holds true for companies. Just like we wouldn’t permit Jay Leno to make fun of the Chinese, we wouldn’t expect Air Canada to play pranks on passengers, as WestJet has been known to do (airplane yoga anyone?). In fact, it might even have us a little worried or uncomfortable.

Have you ever asked of your company, what have you been permitted to say and do? How does your brand define you? It’s often said these days that you don’t own your brand; your customers do. I say this is true and false: you control what you publish, how your company behaves, and what you say. In turn, your customers interpret what they see, hear, and experience, and then create their own set of expectations and permissions as it relates to your brand.

Take a look at your website, your collateral, your print ads. Study the images and designs you use in your communications. Listen to the language you use to talk to and about your customers.

Does your brand allow you to be who you want to be?

“How about,” I offered, “Every special person eats cabbage in a lovely lovely yard.” It sure didn’t make a lot of sense, but it was memorable. (And she did get the word right on her test, which is what really mattered.)

Teachers often use mnemonics to help students memorize lists or spellings. “Never eat soggy wieners” for “north, east, south, west”. “Big elephants can always understand small elephants” for “because”.

Why do mnemonics work? They work because they associate images and ideas that are familiar or funny or amusing with something that is more random and less meaningful.

On the flip side of the coin, acronyms can be used to convey powerful ideas and associations, as demonstrated in Chip and Dan Heath’s book Made to Stick. Here’s a neat little exercise from the book that demonstrates how ideas can be captured in just a few letters.

You’re asked to look at these letters and memorize as many as you can.

J   FKFB   INAT   OUP   SNA   SAI   RS

In this configuration, they don’t make a lot of sense, but rearranged:

JFK  FBI   NATO   UPS   NASA   IRS

These acronyms are easy to remember because of the strong associations and feelings we have with these names, places, and organizations.

One problem with acronyms is that they are overused. Having worked in the high-tech and medical industries, I can attest to the infinite number of meaningless (and difficult to remember) acronyms.

Used in a meaningful way and nurtured, however, an acronym can convey complicated ideas or build strong brand associations in just a few letters. Think GE, IBM, UPS, and yes, IKEA.

If you want to use acronyms for your brand or products:

• Consider not using an acronym at all by finding a simpler idea. If you can start with a simpler idea or concept, you might not even need an acronym to explain it.
• Don’t use acronyms for anything and everything.
• Choose an acronym that in itself conveys some desirable characteristic of your brand or product. For example, the B.C.-based non-profit United Chinese Community Services Society is known as  S.U.C.C.E.S.S.
• Try using an image or graphic treatment to communicate the idea. Web optimization experts WiderFunnel use a proprietary framework for analyzing conversion pages, the L.I.F.T.^TM Model, that includes an illustration of an airplane to describe the six landing page conversion rate factors.
• Look into trademarking the acronym if it’s truly unique and you want to protect it.

Here’s a coffee cup sleeve from JJ Bean, one of my favourite coffee roasters in Vancouver.

“Cupping: IT’S NOT WHAT YOU THINK. Cupping is the process where JJ Bean staff grind, smell, slurp, savour and select wanna-be coffees for our cafés. Sure, it’s a chance for staff to geek out, but it’s also how the best tasting coffee ends up in your cup. (Cupping…still sounds funny.)”

This is not something you’d find on a Starbucks “As I see it” cup.

This copy works because it’s fun and cheeky, and tells us that JJ Bean is willing to take some chances and experiment. The copy also conveys JJ Bean’s dedication to quality and finding the perfect bean.

Reading this, you can imagine the clientele: artists, free agents, urban hipsters, professionals, and anyone who really knows coffee and is willing to go out of their way to get a cup (like I did the other day while downtown).

You can also imagine what part of Vancouver you might find a JJ Bean in:  downtown, urban neighbourhoods, and markets. (Though I told the guy brewing my coffee they really ought to consider opening a store in South Surrey where we could use a boutique coffee shop.)

JJ Bean’s website isn’t quite as cheeky, but is written honestly and sincerely, and shows a passion for the company’s roots. The telephone poles and wires, and Victoria at Powell street signs add an urban, edgy touch.

I filled my cart with a few items. There was a bit of sticker shock when the duties and taxes were added at checkout (note to e-tailers: the earlier in the transaction you can give an idea of the total bill, the fewer abandoned carts you’ll have).

But just in case I wasn’t sure if I wanted to go through with the transaction, L.L.Bean reiterated their offer across the Review and Submit Order page, as shown here.

In Sway – The Irresistible Pull of Irrational Behavior, authors Ori and Rom Brafman describe our psychological aversion to loss, which is much stronger than our positive feelings of experiencing a gain. It’s why car rental companies sell “loss damage” waivers, and why flat-rate plans tend to out-sell pay-by-the-minute plans.

For my shopping excursion, although I had to spend over $25 to receive a $10 gift card (which isn’t redeemable until the next purchase, I might add, meaning I need to spend even more money to earn my reward), I can’t help thinking, “Well, if I don’t buy, I won’t receive the $10 card, plus I’ll lose out on free shipping which may not be available the next time I shop.”

Although this example might not fit perfectly with the Brafmans’ theory, your copy can impart the feeling of “missing out”.

For L.L.Bean, the copy for this offer could be rewritten:

“Don’t miss out on this FREE gift card offer. Click Submit Order to earn your $10 L.L.Bean gift card.”

If you’re offering free shipping, consider this call to action at checkout:

“Don’t miss out on this free shipping offer. Choose Continue Shopping to take advantage of free shipping on your entire order.”

I write a regular email newsletter for one of my clients, and we find that in any month that we run a “Last chance to enter such and such contest” feature, click-through rates tend to soar. It’s that potential for missing a chance to enter that prompts the click.

It’s also the same reason why home lottery marketers like to remind you that their tickets are “70% sold”.

So don’t miss your chance to comment on my blog.

One of my favourite U.S. home retailers is Pottery Barn. But with only one storefront here in Vancouver, I do much of my browsing online. I know from past shopping that Pottery Barn has beautiful Christmas décor, so I went to www.potterybarn.com to see what they’re selling this year.

Here was Pottery Barn’s homepage (above the fold) from a few days ago.

Other than the “peace” ornament, I couldn’t immediately see a link or image taking me to a holiday décor landing page. (And I say “immediately”, because there is indeed one. Read on.)

This is roughly how my eye tracked the page, starting in the upper-right part of the screen (pardon my sophisticated tracking “software”).

The ornament gave me some clue that there was a décor landing page. But I wasn’t interested in ornaments specifically, nor free shipping on said ornaments, and so I didn’t bother reading the copy under the image.

Being the patient shopper I am, I decided to use the Search feature to look for the hangers. Lo and behold, near the search feature was a link to Holiday Décor.

Meeting multiple customer objectives

Pottery Barn has chosen two primary customer objectives for their homepage: gift giving and sales shopping. Given the season, choosing gift giving as the main focus makes sense, and likely meets the objectives of a large percentage of their audience.

However dedicating four boxes to specials and sales (in some respects, a very “bricks ‘n’ mortar” tactic), ignores one of the top reasons people surf: to gather information and research.

By seeding these boxes with trigger words that address objectives other than just sales shopping (which could be accomplished with one box), Pottery Barn has an opportunity to be relevant to a wider audience.

Compare PB’s homepage to Crate&Barrel’s. Crate&Barrel’s homepage is a lot busier above the fold than PB’s, but look at how they’ve used categories in five boxes to appeal to different buying objectives. You can also see that “Gifts” and “Holiday” in the navigation are in red, making them very easy to spot.

I do think some of Crate&Barrel’s copy is a bit too clever (“deck the halls” could have simply been called “holiday décor”). And what is behind  “give red, save green” took me too much guesswork. But overall, their homepage tries to appeal to more kinds of buyers and their objectives.

Here are the takeaways from my shopping excursion:
- Seed your homepage with trigger words that meet more than one buying objective (e.g. just browsing, bargain hunting)
- Use words that your buyers use, and avoid anything too clever
- Keep your homepage clean and focused, with the information most relevant to your shoppers above the fold (i.e. before scrolling is required)

p.s. I’m still sans stocking hangers. I’m holding out for Boxing Day.

Here we are, it’s almost 2010, and I’m still squinting to read bad or small writing on navel-level or chest-level badges (which seems quite lewd when you think about it).

The applications that I’ve seen that come closest to doing away with name tags are the 2-D barcodes offer by ScanLife and the iPhone app Bump.

If you go to my Contact page, you’ll see a ScanLife 2-D barcode. If you want to load my contact information into your phone, simply download the ScanLife application, point your phone’s camera at the barcode, and voila, my contact information is in your address book. You can customize what information is coded into your barcode when you set up an account on the ScanLife site. I printed my barcode and put it on my name tag at one event, where it got some comments and questions. I’m considering printing it on a t-shirt for future events.

Bump allows you to exchange contact information with another iPhone user by literally bumping, or touching, your iPhones together.

Both applications help facilitate the exchange of information. But here’s a thought.

My kids love Pokemon. If you’ve ever watched the show, you’ll have noticed the trainers rely on a Pokedex for identifying Pokemon.

When the show’s characters encounter a new Pokemon, they simply whip out their Pokedex, which instantly identifies the Pokemon and provides its detailed description.

Now this kind of device might have “civil liberties violation” written all over it, so it would have to be completely voluntary. And there’s an element of Big Brother-tude if you knew someone was pointing a device at you to find out who you are. Not the perfect solution by far, but perhaps an idea someone can run with.

But if you know of a name tag or badge that doesn’t involve a pen and label, I’m all ears (and eyes, because my prescription is quite high).

1. You can’t make this stuff up. Great brands aren’t knock-offs of other brands. They’re original.

2. The characters are real and authentic. Great brands don’t try to be something they aren’t. Customers see right through forced and fake brands, or brands that are “too” (fill in the blank).

3. The stories are memorable. The human race thrives and is built on stories. Stories are also sticky. Great stories can help make a brand great.

4. Reality TV created its own category. Breakaway brands have done the same.

5. Even the great brands can turn themselves into train wrecks. Jon & Kate + eight. Even the best-managed brands can implode.

Within a few square inches (or centimetres, if you will), food manufacturers must include information such as the product’s name, a list of ingredients, country of origin, company contact information, and basic nutritional information. And to top it all off, the label has to be designed in a way that compels a shopper to pick the product off the grocery store shelf.

But that doesn’t mean there isn’t plenty of room for improvement.

Here are a few of my food labelling pet peeves:

Best before date
I’m a stickler for best before dates. So does 10JAN09 mean January 10, 2009 or January 9, 2010? Canadians and Americans prefer different date formats, so this may be reflected in the labelling. What’s equally frustrating is that sometimes the date isn’t described at all, so you’re left guessing whether it’s a best before or an expiry date.

“May contain” or “and/or”
How is it a product “may” contain something? Why are manufacturers allowed to waffle on ingredients?

“Low in fat”
This is often just another way to disguise the fact that the product is loaded with sugar. I’ve seen this on marshmallow bags.

0 Trans Fats!
Yet, I find hydrogenated oils in the list of ingredients, which are notorious for containing trans fats. Turns out that if a product contains less than 0.5 g of trans fats per serving (per FDA guidelines), the product’s trans fats are listed as 0.

“Imported by”
I have a big problem with this one because I’d like to know which country this food is being imported from. This labelling just tells you who imported it.

“Product of “
Thank goodness the Canadian government has addressed this one. Used to be if 51% of a food product’s production costs were incurred in Canada, it could be labelled “Product of Canada”. So Sun-Rype’s apple juice could be a “Product of Canada” even if the apples came from Washington State (not that there’s anything wrong with WA apples).

And perhaps my biggest pet peeve is what’s not on the label. When you open a package, jar, or bottle, how long can you keep the product on the shelf or in the fridge before it should be tossed? Some manufacturers include “Best consumed within x days after opening”, and hats off to them. The reason this one bothers me so much is that there are plenty of foods that can spoil without evidence of spoilage (such as smell, taste, appearance of molds, etc.).

So the next time you’re grocery shopping, take some time to read the food labels. What bothers you?

Common wisdom in high-tech writing says to stress benefits before features. Be sure to tell your audience that your solution is faster, more cost-effective, easier to use, and is better than all the rest. Don’t inundate your audience with a mind-numbing list of technical features.

Unfortunately, the result if often jargon-filled and cliche-ridden sentences that border on short novels. You can read them five times over and the copy still doesn’t tell you anything. You’re left asking “but what does this product do?”.

Here’s a smattering of phrases that illustrate my point.

“Take your business to the next level.”
What business? What level? Huh? If I come across this cliche again, I’m going to lose it.

“Out-of-the-box industry-tailored functionality with built-in flexibility to match your unique processes and evolving needs.”
That’s a lot of hyphens. Does this product also make toast?

“A next-generation inventory and order management platform that enables the strategic and cost-effective delivery of traditional and next-generation services over complex networks.”
Can someone tell me what “next-generation” means? Oh, and it doesn’t hurt to throw in the word “strategic” once in a while to appeal to upper management.

“Get the right data to the right people at the right time.”
I guess that’s better than getting the wrong data to the wrong people at the wrong time. Enough said.